The Wedding Ring

I recently attended a concert by a solo classical guitarist. I have been acquainted with this musician for many years, and know he is gay.

“So?” you say.

I thought I was at the point of being able to say “So?” too, but I would soon learn otherwise. Sometimes a prejudice keeps one claw hooked into the mind when you think you have ripped them all out.

As I was waiting for the concert to begin, I was thinking about the performer and assumed – with no evidence at all – that he was promiscuous, and possibly a vector for disease. I wasn’t even aware that I was thinking like a bigot until he appeared on stage … wearing a wedding ring.

In an instant, my perception of him changed. I pictured him in a faithful relationship, enjoying quiet evenings at home, just like me.

And I finally grasped one reason why homosexuals care so much about the marriage issue. Being married is the only way that a couple can declare to society that that they have a faithful union.

Beyond that, marriage says to society, “You can trust me. I’m just like you.”

Homosexuals must struggle to climb many hills that the law declares do not exist. Why, in addition to that, should they have to waste one once of emotional energy worrying that bigots like me will make unwarranted assumptions about their sex lives?

Does that mean I favor gay marriage? Yes, but not in the way you might think. That will be the subject of the next post.